Last time you heard about school. There might be more about that later if something noteworthy happens.
Now though, I will tell you about getting the internet in our house (Averil's parents' house). It was fun and easy!
Now though, I will tell you about getting the internet in our house (Averil's parents' house). It was fun and easy!
We followed these simple steps, beginning from the second full day of our arrival and continuing for the following 12 days:
1. Go to local husband-and-wife-run computer store to inquire of them what we need to do to get internet. There is a sign on the door that says it is closed for the next three days. But we are invited to visit their store in a neighboring town (approximately 10 miles away).
2. Accept invitation to go to that store in neighboring town. Inquire of guy there (the husband), who says, "no problem," you need an "Orange Livebox" and he can install one in our house 8 days from now for 90 euros. We paid the 90 euros and signed the deal and left, dissapointed that it would take 8 days. (An Orange Livebox is something like a Comcast cable box. "Orange" refers to the name of the company, which is very much like Comcast and operates all over France through its own stores and independent dealers like the one we just made the deal with. Orange provides internet, cable TV, telephone, and cell phones.)
3. On the way back to the car, we notice that there is an Orange Store (again, think Comcast). We go in to ask about cell phones. While we are there, we ask about internet. We meet a guy named Swann. Swann tells us that it is the easiest thing in the world to get internet, you just need an Orange Livebox and plugging it in is the simplest thing in the history of the world. The way it is supposed to work is that we sign up with Orange, then they will give us the box, we plug it into our phone jack when we get home, and "voila" we have wireless internet throughout the house. And they can give you cell phones too! No need to pay 90 euros to a guy and wait 8 days for him to plug it in when we can have it instantly and plug it in easily ourselves! Swann says we should study the brochure and come back the next day to choose what kind of plan we want for cell phones (we've decided not to get TV).
4. We return to the internet store and kind of ask for our 90 euros back please. The man sheepishly agrees (we actually get a printer from him which we will need later).
5. Return to Orange store and pick a plan for internet and cell phones (we have to consider how long we want the service, how many minutes a month we'll be using the cell phones, etc. etc.) We pick a plan. Then it is time for Swann to put our information into our computer. He asks for our RIB (pronouned reeb). Our RIB? Swann explains that a RIB is a bank account number and you cannot do anything in France without a RIB. To get a RIB you have to set up a French bank account. (It would have been the same with the man in the other store if we had ever gotten that far by the way). We must go to the bank and set up a bank account and get our RIB and then come back. Nothing can happen without our RIB.
6. Back in Vaison, we go into the local branch of one of the largest national banks in France, Credit Agricole. We explain that we would like to set up a bank account so we can have a RIB. No problem, we are told! We can have a rendezvous with the banker there to set up a bank account! The first appointment is in one week.
7. Then we walk across the street to a competing bank, BNP Paribas. We go in and ask the same question. We can have a rendezvous that very day! They write our names in the book for that afternoon. We are advised to bring a utility bill from our house (if we don't have one from France, Seattle will do) along with other information and papers. This is a bit of a pickle. We need a RIB to get the Internet. We need the Internet to get the papers necessary for the RIB. We need to gather the materials for the rendezvous by going to the internet cafe to use the internet (for $9/hour) to get a utility bill from our Seattle house. The internet cafe is closed for lunch. In fact, all important businesses, including banks and the post offices, and many shops are closed between the hours of 12 and 2 p.m. for lunch. We go back to the bank to make the rendezvous later in the day so that we can go to the internet cafe first. Phew! That was complicated.
8. On our way to the internet cafe we run into our friend Lucille. What luck! We know her from previous visits. She has internet at her house. We can go there and print out the utility bill! We do it!
9. We attend our rendezvous with the banker at BNP Paribas. She is delightful. Setting up the account takes only a little less than two hours. She laughs when we tell her we need a RIB and why. "Yes," she confirms, "you cannot do anything in France without a RIB. I can give you your RIB today! Later, when you can provide me with your marriage certificate and a letter of good standing from your bank in America, I will allow you to deposit some money in your account and I will give you a Carte Blue (basically a debit card) which will be very convenient for you!" We enjoy the rendevous very much. We leave armed with a RIB! That night, I call my bank manager in America and ask him to e-mail a letter to the banker in Vaison confirming that we are customers in good standing.
Here is a photograph of our bank and the hours of operation:
10. Armed with our RIB at least, we return to the Orange store. We look at the cell phones too, and pick two of them. Our first smartphone and a calling plan to go with it! Now it is time to pay. Swann has the day off today and his substitute asks for our Carte Blue. We tell him we don't have it yet, but we can use any of four credit cards or even cash. No, he says, you cannot purchase anything without your Carte Blue. The RIB is also necessary, though not sufficient. Thus, we leave, disappointed that we can have neither our internet "Livebox" or our cell phones.
11. The next day, we go to Avignon where we are due to exchange our rental car for a smaller model. Avignon is a much larger community. While walking through town, we pass by the competing cell phone/internet store (SFR). We go in and ask if what we are being told by Orange is true. Yes, she says, you need a RIB. You also need a Carte Blue for cell phones. But you do not need a Carte Blue for internet. We could sign up with this competing company if we wanted to. But that would take longer because they do not handle the technology at the store.
12. We go back to Orange. This time Swann is there. We explain what we were told by the competition. Can we have the internet now and then get our cell phones later when we have our Carte Blue? "Of course!" he says. We can have internet now that we have our RIB. If we want internet and cell phones then we need our Carte Blue too. We want internet!
13. Now all Swann has to do is look up our phone number on the computer to get our information and make sure that the phone line will accept internet service. He looks it up. Oh, says Swann, you are "blocke'." It will take approximately one week to get you "unblocke'." Once you are unblocke' it will be no problem. We have no idea what any of this means, but we think it involves pushing a button somewhere. Swann says he will call us when we are unblocke'. We must wait for Swann's phone call.
14. That day at the internet cafe' I ask the woman there if what I am being told makes sense. Yes she says, if we are blocke' we need to be unblocke'-ed and this takes 7-10 days. It is common. Relax, she tells me, and use her internet cafe' for 6 euros an hour when she happens to be there.
15. We go to BNP Paribas bank. We have provided them with our marriage certificate. Did she get the e-mail from my bank in Seattle? She says she did! And it says exactly what it is supposed to! Only she needs an original letter. It must be mailed by post. E-mail is insufficient. Once she receives that, we can put money in our bank account. I call my banker in Seattle. He is nice. He agrees to mail a letter that says the same thing as his e-mail.
16. Wait for Swann's phone call.
17. Wait for Swann's phone call.
18. Wait for Swann's phone call.
19. Nirvana!!! (No, Swann has not called yet.) Our neighbor invites us to use his wireless password and he is going out of town for a week and we are welcome to push our way through the thick bushes with our laptop and sit on his terrace very close to the wall of his house where we have a very faint wireless internet signal!!! This is such a relief. He is a very nice guy. For the next few days we take full advantage. I go up at 2:00 a.m. one night to listen to LSU beat the Ducks on internet radio. It was dark. Many snails were stepped on.
20. Swann calls!!! We are unblocke'!!! We jump in the car and rush to the Orange store. Swann congratulates us. He retrieves a precious Livebox out of the locked cabinet. He has taken pity on us now. He says he will set it all up for us in the store so all we have to do is plug it in. When we plug it in we will have a little green light. The little green light will tell us that everything is OK. He asks us for the password that we got in the mail. The password is necessary to activate the box so that when you plug it in you will have a little green light. Did we get the password in the mail?
21. No, we got nothing in the mail. Now Swann really takes pity on us. He picks up the telephone and calls Orange headquarters and pleads with them to have pity on us too. Then, miracle of miracles! The operator gives Swann the password! Swann activates the Livebox! The green light is on! We do not hug Swann, but we consider asking him for dinner and also naming our puppy Swann when we get her in a couple of weeks.
22. Victoriously, we drive home. After dinner that night, we plug in the Livebox! The light is red!? Two hours later, having tried everything we can think of, and following the troubleshooting guide to a T, the light is still red. It is Saturday night. Orange will be closed the next day.
23. We wake up the next morning. I look wearily at the Livebox. The light is green?! The light is green! The light is green! The light is green! What happened to make it green? Was it just tired before? Who cares! We fire up the laptop, enter the secret number, see the connection, and voila'! We are on the internet! The world is our oyster!
But what will happen when Orange goes to withdraw the the first month's subscription payment out of our French bank account and discovers there is no money in it? Only time will tell . . . . And, why does the internet connection (and our attendant phone service) quit every night at 9:36 p.m., and reinitiate every morning at approximately 6:30 a.m.? And why hasn't our bank gotten the original letter so we can get our "Carte Blue and cell phones? Who knows?!! But at least we have internet and phone during the day.
Stay tuned for upcoming Blog entries, including but not limited to:
5. Return to Orange store and pick a plan for internet and cell phones (we have to consider how long we want the service, how many minutes a month we'll be using the cell phones, etc. etc.) We pick a plan. Then it is time for Swann to put our information into our computer. He asks for our RIB (pronouned reeb). Our RIB? Swann explains that a RIB is a bank account number and you cannot do anything in France without a RIB. To get a RIB you have to set up a French bank account. (It would have been the same with the man in the other store if we had ever gotten that far by the way). We must go to the bank and set up a bank account and get our RIB and then come back. Nothing can happen without our RIB.
6. Back in Vaison, we go into the local branch of one of the largest national banks in France, Credit Agricole. We explain that we would like to set up a bank account so we can have a RIB. No problem, we are told! We can have a rendezvous with the banker there to set up a bank account! The first appointment is in one week.
7. Then we walk across the street to a competing bank, BNP Paribas. We go in and ask the same question. We can have a rendezvous that very day! They write our names in the book for that afternoon. We are advised to bring a utility bill from our house (if we don't have one from France, Seattle will do) along with other information and papers. This is a bit of a pickle. We need a RIB to get the Internet. We need the Internet to get the papers necessary for the RIB. We need to gather the materials for the rendezvous by going to the internet cafe to use the internet (for $9/hour) to get a utility bill from our Seattle house. The internet cafe is closed for lunch. In fact, all important businesses, including banks and the post offices, and many shops are closed between the hours of 12 and 2 p.m. for lunch. We go back to the bank to make the rendezvous later in the day so that we can go to the internet cafe first. Phew! That was complicated.
8. On our way to the internet cafe we run into our friend Lucille. What luck! We know her from previous visits. She has internet at her house. We can go there and print out the utility bill! We do it!
9. We attend our rendezvous with the banker at BNP Paribas. She is delightful. Setting up the account takes only a little less than two hours. She laughs when we tell her we need a RIB and why. "Yes," she confirms, "you cannot do anything in France without a RIB. I can give you your RIB today! Later, when you can provide me with your marriage certificate and a letter of good standing from your bank in America, I will allow you to deposit some money in your account and I will give you a Carte Blue (basically a debit card) which will be very convenient for you!" We enjoy the rendevous very much. We leave armed with a RIB! That night, I call my bank manager in America and ask him to e-mail a letter to the banker in Vaison confirming that we are customers in good standing.
Here is a photograph of our bank and the hours of operation:
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| Our Bank! |
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| Bank Hours of Operation |
10. Armed with our RIB at least, we return to the Orange store. We look at the cell phones too, and pick two of them. Our first smartphone and a calling plan to go with it! Now it is time to pay. Swann has the day off today and his substitute asks for our Carte Blue. We tell him we don't have it yet, but we can use any of four credit cards or even cash. No, he says, you cannot purchase anything without your Carte Blue. The RIB is also necessary, though not sufficient. Thus, we leave, disappointed that we can have neither our internet "Livebox" or our cell phones.
11. The next day, we go to Avignon where we are due to exchange our rental car for a smaller model. Avignon is a much larger community. While walking through town, we pass by the competing cell phone/internet store (SFR). We go in and ask if what we are being told by Orange is true. Yes, she says, you need a RIB. You also need a Carte Blue for cell phones. But you do not need a Carte Blue for internet. We could sign up with this competing company if we wanted to. But that would take longer because they do not handle the technology at the store.
12. We go back to Orange. This time Swann is there. We explain what we were told by the competition. Can we have the internet now and then get our cell phones later when we have our Carte Blue? "Of course!" he says. We can have internet now that we have our RIB. If we want internet and cell phones then we need our Carte Blue too. We want internet!
13. Now all Swann has to do is look up our phone number on the computer to get our information and make sure that the phone line will accept internet service. He looks it up. Oh, says Swann, you are "blocke'." It will take approximately one week to get you "unblocke'." Once you are unblocke' it will be no problem. We have no idea what any of this means, but we think it involves pushing a button somewhere. Swann says he will call us when we are unblocke'. We must wait for Swann's phone call.
14. That day at the internet cafe' I ask the woman there if what I am being told makes sense. Yes she says, if we are blocke' we need to be unblocke'-ed and this takes 7-10 days. It is common. Relax, she tells me, and use her internet cafe' for 6 euros an hour when she happens to be there.
15. We go to BNP Paribas bank. We have provided them with our marriage certificate. Did she get the e-mail from my bank in Seattle? She says she did! And it says exactly what it is supposed to! Only she needs an original letter. It must be mailed by post. E-mail is insufficient. Once she receives that, we can put money in our bank account. I call my banker in Seattle. He is nice. He agrees to mail a letter that says the same thing as his e-mail.
16. Wait for Swann's phone call.
17. Wait for Swann's phone call.
18. Wait for Swann's phone call.
19. Nirvana!!! (No, Swann has not called yet.) Our neighbor invites us to use his wireless password and he is going out of town for a week and we are welcome to push our way through the thick bushes with our laptop and sit on his terrace very close to the wall of his house where we have a very faint wireless internet signal!!! This is such a relief. He is a very nice guy. For the next few days we take full advantage. I go up at 2:00 a.m. one night to listen to LSU beat the Ducks on internet radio. It was dark. Many snails were stepped on.
20. Swann calls!!! We are unblocke'!!! We jump in the car and rush to the Orange store. Swann congratulates us. He retrieves a precious Livebox out of the locked cabinet. He has taken pity on us now. He says he will set it all up for us in the store so all we have to do is plug it in. When we plug it in we will have a little green light. The little green light will tell us that everything is OK. He asks us for the password that we got in the mail. The password is necessary to activate the box so that when you plug it in you will have a little green light. Did we get the password in the mail?
21. No, we got nothing in the mail. Now Swann really takes pity on us. He picks up the telephone and calls Orange headquarters and pleads with them to have pity on us too. Then, miracle of miracles! The operator gives Swann the password! Swann activates the Livebox! The green light is on! We do not hug Swann, but we consider asking him for dinner and also naming our puppy Swann when we get her in a couple of weeks.
22. Victoriously, we drive home. After dinner that night, we plug in the Livebox! The light is red!? Two hours later, having tried everything we can think of, and following the troubleshooting guide to a T, the light is still red. It is Saturday night. Orange will be closed the next day.
23. We wake up the next morning. I look wearily at the Livebox. The light is green?! The light is green! The light is green! The light is green! What happened to make it green? Was it just tired before? Who cares! We fire up the laptop, enter the secret number, see the connection, and voila'! We are on the internet! The world is our oyster!
 |
| That's a Green Light Baby! |
But what will happen when Orange goes to withdraw the the first month's subscription payment out of our French bank account and discovers there is no money in it? Only time will tell . . . . And, why does the internet connection (and our attendant phone service) quit every night at 9:36 p.m., and reinitiate every morning at approximately 6:30 a.m.? And why hasn't our bank gotten the original letter so we can get our "Carte Blue and cell phones? Who knows?!! But at least we have internet and phone during the day.
Stay tuned for upcoming Blog entries, including but not limited to:
- The Underbelly of Vaison: The Nearby Cathouse and the Madame Who Runs It;
- Free Health Care for All and Other Evils of France;
- Le Gym;
- Can We Buy a Used Car?
Ave -- I'm enjoying the stories so much. I can just see you telling the story to me and enjoy a chuckle. If it makes you feel any better, when my friend was living in the UAE she couldn't do anything at all without bringing her husband along for permission.
RépondreSupprimerOy! Good thing you guys have time to deal with this merde.
RépondreSupprimer